When I was wondering what today's article would be about one thing popped into my mind. I thought it was a subject that mainly interests me at the moment. But then I felt that is what you guys wanna hear. You wanna hear the latest developments and insights in my existence. We inspire each other and may find out that we are connected in more ways then we used to think. So today's article is kinda personal. It's about me, my life and where I am standing right now. I feel that is what I have to offer: My own experiences as a bold, curious and vibrant spirit pretending to be human.
When you would ask me how my year have been, I would tell you it has been interesting to say at least. People died. I stopped with my mainstream job that was suffocating me. I had great inspiration to develop new things, felt renewed, enjoyed my freedom. But most of all this year for me is like a big anchor point. There are those years in life where you can make a decision. To turn left of right. To stay on this road, go for a certain goal, or... choose different despite what the people demand from you.
I changed, I learned great lessons about integrity and following my heart. About living at earth and what it means to feel my body. I learned that I am used to giving. And that I am using that to receive acknowledgment. Real giving without any attachment is something I may learn. Even more I may learn how to receive without attachment. Without thinking someone has gone insane for giving me something. That there are people in the world that can be trusted and that are OK. I learned that many of my motives where based on fear. I have been so proud for many years that I earned my own money. Every day I woke up, pushing the limits of my soul and body to drag myself to work. Only then I felt, only then am I worthy. When I take care of myself like this, no one has to give me something and I can pay what I need. And even more.. I can give people what I like. My true motives where based on survival and with attachment to the outcome.
Yes, I am a stubborn girl that hasn't learned what it is to receive in a safe way. I have been in survival mode for so long that it was time to put a stop to it. I choose to let go of the old and got ill. I got sick when the world was knocking on my door. I got sick when the invitations to give seminars all over the world came in. My phone didn't stop ringing, my email was overloaded, Skype was calling me all day. And I?
I was too tired to get out of bed. To read the emails and pick up the phone. I was to worn out to do groceries, to take care of my household.
I had been in survival mode for all my life and my body told me it was time to stop.
That is when it gets silent. That is the moment in where all the old structures are falling away. I learned that people love to make something of me, a character that I actually ain't. I learned that people love to flow on the newest spiritual hype. And that a lot of my network was based on polarity. This was a result of my own creations.
I was sick, laying in bed and I couldn't do a thing. Spirit was teaching me a lesson and all I could do was surrender. I had to ask for help on every level. I had to let go of my false pride and say yes to love without attachment. To practical help. To financial help. To help on every level of my human existence. I knew I had to let go of my old survival mode. That it was time to heal my body and make the choice on deeper levels to start accepting my body. To feel it.
To experience what it is to breathe. What emotions are being stored in my body. To feel at which moments I get anxiety attacks. When the depression starts to flow in and what I can do to reverse that flow.
I felt like a little girl that was scared in the dark. But I knew that this time it was different. This time I was the grown up and although it felt lonely and desperate I knew this was the change that was announcing itself.
I am in the process of learning to love. To give and receive on all levels without attachment in a new energy. The biggest challenge right now is my body. With it's weird anxiety attacks, the disassociation and it's flesh. The acceptance of the spirit I am in this weird world with it's weird gravity. The challenge right now is to rock this world, despite all the BS that is flowing around. To bite in the universe and letting it know that I will learn. That I am here and not intended to go away for a very long time. That I am going for the human experience and that it's not to late for that.
So this time no fluffy talk about our newest events or coaching. No fluffy talk about world trips or seminars. This time I am keeping it human. Cause that's what's allowing me to show you about heaven, about angels and light. My humanness is allowing me to do my job, as a human amongst humans. I sing to you about how there is hope in the darkness, about heaven and how we never ever have to be scared, cause all is well in the awe of creation.
Thank you, dear reader: I am grateful for every reader that reads my writing. I am grateful for all of you who are taking the time to open yourself up and receive the unconditional love that is flowing from my heart to yours. That's what I do when there is nothing left to say: I simply am.
Copyright disclaimer: All writings are copyrighted by Elleke and Mirri Rocks. If you like to spread our articles we want to be asked for permission: firstname.lastname@example.org. For more please visit http://nieuwekinderen.nl/dna